“When someone won't let you in, eventually you stop knocking.”
I guess it's true. I learned to let go. There's no point waiting anymore. Deep down I know I was doing something that went against my values (and religion) yet I told myself that it's just a small matter. How foolish of me. I used to go by the monicker of 'keepithalalbro' at the age of 17 on twitter. Back then I think I would've slapped myself or something if I were to meet my future self (18-19). I was too occupied with school matters to regard this as an important issue. Perhaps it was the work of shaytan, who keeps convinving me to become comfortable enough to justify my actions, causing the guilt to wear off. I guess I ... lost my identity hurrr. Better to have realised it now than never. I am thankful and remorseful at the same time. The best steps to take now: to accept my mistakes, seek forgiveness and move on. I truly believe that there is a halal relationship written for me by Allah. Allah has my life under control as long as I submit myself to him. May Allah guide us all to the right path.
