My number tag was called out. I wish it was a mistake. I wish it was all a nightmare I can wake up from. I can't get over this failure yet again. It is really embarrassing leaving the room when I saw a handful of female testees still in the room. My heartache grew worse when I proceed to top-up my account for the umpteenth time. It is really ridiculous how much I've spent so far. In fact I don't have any other major spendings ever since graduating from JC besides this. It has also made my life seems meaningless as long as I have not passed this test. It gets so bad that I don't even want to talk to anyone about this besides to my family members. As much as I feel like giving up, I am going to come back stronger and prevent making the same mistakes.

relevant as ever